


You make me feel (like I'm alive again)

by Smol_Might



Category: South Park
Genre: A MONKEY TAIL YOU HEATHEN, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Angel!Butters, Blood, Fluff, Injury, M/M, Swearing, Yes its a boarding school au, and i may or may not be making an extra chapter with them in it, and they wil be the focus, bc i can, but its a MONSTER boarding school au, demon!kenny, fuck u, here a lot too, i love style as much as creek so there um, monkeyking!tweek, no this isnt monster high stfu, satyr!stan, so baisically he has a tail and sideburns, so uh, stfu, vampire!craig, werewolf!kyle, yes i CAN and WILL make a baclground angel/demon pairing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27088384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smol_Might/pseuds/Smol_Might
Summary: When Craig's ex, Micheal, challenges him to a fight for the boy's love, Tweek accepts.It took him too long to realize he had no idea how to fight._____Monster boarding school au
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Mentioned Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Scotch
Kudos: 12





	You make me feel (like I'm alive again)

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this at like three am, leave me alone

Oh, god, he was dead. 

He was so, so dead

Craig might as well just break up with him now, there's no chance that he'll win against Micheal, he was a mummy for fuck's sake! He had all sorts of strange powers! What could Tweek do? Flick someone with his tail? (His monkey tail you dirty minded bastard).

Not only will he loose Craig but he'll be killed as well! A mummy could flatten any Monkey King in a second!

"Hey, Tweek!"

Tweek heard the familiar clopping of hooves as Stan Marsh, a friend of his, came up next to him.

"GAH! Stan! Don't do that!"

Stan hopped back a few steps as Tweek turned around dangerously fast. The satyr's ears flattened.

"Is everything okay, dude?"

Tweek growled, his tail curling around his leg as his hands twitched nervously, "ARGH! No, Stanley! Everything is not okay--GAH!"

Stan's hoof scuffed the floor arkwardly, "Would you... like to talk about it?"

"YES! I WOULD!" 

Tweel paused as several eyes fell on the pair, "J-just not here."

Stan smiled, "C'mon, Tweek, Kyle's probably fighting Cartman so my and his dorm should be empty.

* * *

"So, baisically..."

"YES! I KNOW IT SOUNDS BAD! AND NOW I'M SCREWED BECAUSE I HAVE TO- GAH- I HAVE TO FUCKING FIGHT A MUMMY TO IMPRESS CRAIG SO HE DOESN'T BREAK UP WITH ME!"

Stan stared for a moment. Tweek was sat on Kyle's bed while he was on his own. The young Mokey King (or prince as many called him, despite his species actually being called Monkey King) was twitching nervously and his tail looked like it was going to strangle the poor boy. The satyr came to the conclusion that Tweek was not ready to fight, as any sane person would. This needed to be solved, and fast, otherwise all of Tweek's hair would be gray by the end of the day.

"Why not just, you know, tell Craig and have him stop the fight?"

Tweek pulled on his hair, "B-BUT- GAH-THEN HE'LL THINK I'M A P-PUSSY! AND THEN HE'LL BREAK UP WITH ME ANYWAY!"

"Tweek-"

"YOU C-CAN'T SAY ANYTHING! YOU- GAH -THOUGHT K-KYLE WAS GOING TO BREAK UP WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU USED UP ALL THE WARM WATER IN THE SH-SHOWER!"

Stan stood up, "Hey, now! That's something we _don't_ bring up!"

Tweek copied him, "THEN TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY! GAAH!"

"OKAY! Okay, okay, okay. What do you need me to do?"

Tweek cocked his head; what was Stan talking about? He hadn't asked for help? Had he accidently cursed him? Made him his slave? Does he have hypnotic abilities?

"I want to help, Tweek." Stan said simply, picking up on the other boy's confusion.

Tweek stood in silence for a while. What _could_ Stan do to help? He wasn't sure what special abilities satyrs had, all he know was that they trained others to fight-

Wait.

"T-there is something you can do actually..."

* * *

"Um, so, sword or axe?"

"G-godammit, Stan! I don't w-want to kill him!"

"Bo-staff then?"

Tweek was done. He was so, so done. It turns out, Stan could teach him how to fight, but the fight was on Sunday and he had a week to train. It also meanr that the satyr wasn't helping.

"FINE!"

Tweek faintly heard Stan walk off to retrieve the weapon, his hooves clacking against the floor of the school gym; it was the only place they were allowed to do this kind of activity, and luckily there was an empty, indoor basketball court. 

He may have been annoyed, but he was thankful Stan was helping him. 

A wooden pole was dropped in front of him, and Tweek looked up to see Stan holding his own, "Time to get started."

Tweek nodded and grabbed his bo-staff.

"W-what's the first lesson?"

Stan put a hand to his chin, "Hm..."

Tweek waited, watching the boy seemingly think about it, until it started to get annoying.

"GAH! WILL YOU JUST--"

He was cut off when Stan suddenly jabbed him in the stomach with his bo-staff.

"First lesson: Never let your guard down, always strike first and wait for absolutely nothing."

"THAT WAS IT?!"

Stan nodded, "Yes, now using that I wan--"

Tweek swung the staff as Stan, hitting it against the boy's horns.

Stan blinked, "Good job."

Tweek smiled weakly, that was easy!

Stan laughed? "Don't go thinking you've got the hang of this yet! We have a long way to go."

* * *

"Babe, what the fuck happened to you?!"

Tweek tiredly looked up to see his vampire boyfriend looking at him with concern in his eyes.

"Nothin'- gah! I'm just tired."

As if to add emphasis, Tweek flopped forward onto his bed.

Craig winced and sat down next to him, "I'm gonna go get you some coffee, honey. Stay here."

Tweek groaned as Craig transformed into a bat and flew out the room.

Of course, Tweek was always jealous when he saw students and monsters with special abilities, so it made him wonder why he never looked at Craig with envy. He assumed it was because they were dating, but he was jealous of his friends, so he didn't understand.

Before he could contemplate more, Craig reappeared with a cup of steaming hot coffee in his hand, and Tweek greeding snatched it off him, his tail curling protectively around his boyfriend's leg, a sign Craig had came to realize was the monkey king asking for cuddles.

Craig climbed onto his boyfriend's bed, watching as said boyfriend guzzled down the disgusting liquid called coffee. He was even more shocked when it was gone within seconds, and Tweek was already cuddling up to him.

"Rough day?"

Tweek hummed against the vampire's shoulder, and Craig felt the blonde's breath begin to even out, which seemed impossible considering he just downed an emtire cup of coffee in 0.5 seconds.

"What the fuck has made you this tired, babe?"

* * *

"Back straight, arms up, perfect!"

"I don't see how this helps."

"Well, now you know how to block!"

"Y-yeah- gah! If he decides to attack thin air!"

"Next lesson!"

* * *

"No-gah! Kenny. You and Butters cannot place bets! GAH!"

"Shame, Butters had a real sexy punishment for me when Micheal looses."

Tweel shivered, "I- gah! Don't need that mental image!"

* * *

"Your boyfriend is fuck- GAH! -ing insane."

Kyle looked up from his switch, only for his character to be stung by the wasps chasing him.

Tweek sat down next to him, banging his lunch tray on the table.

"Stan? Yeah, I know."

The werewolf watched as the monkey king twitched, unintentionly flicking food onto the table.

"What did he do?'

"Y-you don't want to know."

He kinda did now.

* * *

"ARGH! WATCH IT!"

Tweek ducked under a quick attack from Stan, and the monkey king swept his staff underneath the satyr's hooves, causing the other boy to fall over.

"Haha! I finally I'm on-GAH! -top!"

Kyle stared from the entrance, "What the fuck?"

* * *

"They were fighting... with sticks...?"

Kyle nodded, and Craig stared at the werewolf as if he had grown a second head.

"That's what I saw. I think it has something to do with the fight between Micheal and Tweek happening today."

"...The what?"

* * *

Tweek fidgeted nervously. 

_ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck._

Teachers had soon learned about the fight and had decided to supervise the thing, students had formed a small ring for them to fight in.

The teachers knew, the students knew, _Craig knew._

And now Micheal was standing in front of him, taunting him.

"C'mon, pussy! Craig-y might think you're weak!"

The mummy boy was terrifying. While Tweek had chosen a more pacifistic weapon, Micheal had headed straight for the sword.

_First lesson: Never let you're guard down. Strike first and wait for absolutely nothing._

Without a second thought, Tweek wrapped his tail around the arm holding the sword, holding it in place, and seinhing his bo-staff towards the mummy's torso, which hit the target.

_Second lesson: Never stop when you make contact, pretend you want to hit the guy behind him, keep on forcing the attack forward._

The monkey king kept on pushing, letting go of Micheal's arm while doing so, and the mummy fell flat on his back.

The students in the crowd cheered.

_Third lesson: Don't be nice. This is a fight, not a tea party, don't let him win, otherwise by law he can take your place as Craig's boyfriend._

Tweek jumped onto Micheal's back, hearing the decayed bones snapping as he did so.

This was easy! Why did he ever doubt himself! He could win--

Suddenly, a blade flew over his head, barely missing him. 

_Fourth lesson: Speed it everything. It doesn't matter how many muscles you have, how many bullets or knives, at the end of the day all the matters is your ability to counter and dodge them._

Tweek raised his staff as Micheal jumped up and swung his sword again. The staff vibrated as the metal bounced off it, amd the monkey king kicked the mummy.

Micheal growled and punched Tweek.

_Fifth lesson: Don't let anger take over, but if the enemy gets angry, great! Better advantage for you!_

Tweek rolled out the way and Micheal swung his sword down.

He could do this, only one more lesson. He'sgotthishe'sgotthishe'sgotthis.

"Woo! Go kick his ass, babe!"

Craig was watching.

Holy shit, CRAIG WAS WATCHING!

In his moment of brief distraction, he forgot the final rule and Micheal knocked him down, putting a foot on his chest to prevent him from getting up.

Oh, shit.

Micheal cackled and raised his sword.

* * *

_"Final lesson: Don't let him pin you down." Stan said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world._

_"Wow, this is really what's been making you so tired, babe?" Craig asked. He had eventually found out about the fight and had accompanied Tweek to his last few lessons._

_"YES- GAH!"_

_"Wow, babe, you're one badass motherfucker."_

_"I AM!"_

_Stan watched the banter for a moment before interupting, "But if he does manage to pin you down, make sure you turn the saying an eye for an eye real."_

* * *

With a yell, Tweek pusjed his staff upwards, through the eyehole and out the back of Micheal's head. The bandages fell away, revealing the dusty bones wrapped up inside them. With a horrifying screech, Micheal fell over, and Tweek pushed himself onto his feet.

"Oh my god, babe! That was so fucking badass!" Craig came running out of the crowd and picking Tweek up, pulling him into a kiss. 

The crowed cooed and there was a yell of 'tell me if you do the deed tonight' and a 'shut the FUCK UP, KENNY'

Some teacher's began reassembling and rewrapping Micheal's body and another came over and raised Tweek's hand.

"We have a winner!"

Craig hugged him and kissed him again and said, "Remind me why you did this again?"

"Because I fucking love you, gah!"

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 coming soon with focus on style and Micheal gets revenge.


End file.
